A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand.

A prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand.
He approached her and asked, "Mrs.
Jones, do you know me?
" She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you Mr.
Williams.
I've known you since you were a young boy.
And frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me.
You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs.
You think you're a rising big shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to anything more than a two-bit paper pusher.
Yes, I know you." The lawyer was stunned.
Not knowing what else to do he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs.
Williams, do you know the defense attorney?
" She again replied, "Why, yes I do.
I've known Mr.
Bradley since he was a youngster, too.
I used to baby-sit him for his parents.
And he, too, has been a real disappointment to me.
He's lazy, bigoted, he has a drinking problem.
The man can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the shoddiest in the entire state.
Yes, I know him." At this point, the judge rapped the courtroom to silence and called both counselors to the bench.
In a very quiet voice, he said with menace, "If either of you asks her if she knows me, you'll be jailed for contempt!
"