A pirate was talking to a land-lubber in a bar.

A pirate was talking to a "land-lubber" in a bar.
The land-lubber noticed that, like any self-respecting pirate, this guy had a peg leg, a hook in place of one of his hands, and a patch over one eye.
The land-lubber just had to find out how the pirate got in such bad shape.
He asked the pirate, "How did you loose your leg?
" The pirate responded, "I lost me leg in a battle off the coast of Jamaica!
" His new acquaintance was still curious so he asked, "What about you hand.
Did you lose it at the same time?
" "No," answered the pirate.
"I lost it to the sharks off the Florida Keys." Finally, the land-lubber asked, "I notice you also have an eye patch.
How did you lose your eye?
" The pirate answered, "I was sleeping on a beach when a seagull flew over and crapped right in me eye." The land-lubber asked: "How could a little seagull crap make you loose your eye?
" Th e pirate snapped, "It was the day after I got me hook."